The Earth is Online

Bang!

There was the loud sound of the door opening from behind him. Tang Mo placed a hand on the match tattoo and turned back to look.

He saw Grandmother Wolf walk into the house, taking a pink pouch from the sofa. She saw Tang Mo looking at her and glared viciously, stating, “Remember the time.” If I don’t see the golden hamster when I come back seven days later, you will be my dinner!”

The door closed with a loud sound and the entire house shook like there was an earthquake.

Tang Mo’s body also shook as he walked to the window. He saw Grandmother Wolf slowly disappearing into the hill and narrowed his eyes, turning towards the jar.

Tang Mo looked at the pink alarm clock next to the sofa.

“It is 12.30 on the first day.” The main mission of this tower attack game gave Tang Mo seven days to complete it and Monster Valley’s time was calculated in the same way as Earth. “In this case, I entered the game at 5 p.m. on November 30th and if it is calculated according to the time, it should be December 1st right now...”

Tang Mo carefully went over the rules that the black tower spoke in his mind again.

He had seven days to catch the golden hamster. He had to place food at the hole at six o’clock every evening in order to attract the hamster. If he missed the time, the food was invalid. Thus, there were only seven chances.

The probability of the golden hamster appearing on the first day was 40% and this doubled for the rest of the days to 80%.

If he followed the rules correctly for the next seven days and put food at a hole at six o’clock, the probability that the golden hamster wouldn’t appear in these seven days was 0.000192. Conversely, the probability of catching the hamster within seven days was 0.99988.

It was a big probability.

Tang Mo felt that his luck wasn’t too good but it should be enough to catch the hamster if the probability was this high.

Unless the game itself had problems.

Tang Mo thought for a long time but couldn’t come up with an answer. Finally, he decided to look at the props he had currently. Grandmother Wolf wasn’t present so he sat on the sofa and put the jar on the coffee table.

“Anything that belongs to the underground kingdom can become a sweet potato. Anything...”

Tang Mo’s gaze moved and found a person’s hair in a gap in the sofa.

Tang Mo took the slimy hair out of the gap. Then he put the strand of hair into the jar. For a moment, the jar didn’t show any movements.

Tang Mo looked down at it. The hair was still laying at the bottom of the jar and didn’t become a sweet potato.

“It isn’t enough?”

Tang Mo frowned and put a large amount of hair inside.

He waited around a minute and then the jawr shook violently. The pink jar flashed with a colourful light, like the neon lights of the old-fashioned karaoke places. They shone spots of colour into every corner of the house.

Tang Mo didn’t blink as he stared at the jar for three minutes. The lights of the jar finally went out. There was a banging sound and then a foul stench.

Despite Tang Mo already experiencing Mario’s hat, he almost fainted when he smelled it.

He resisted the stench and looked inside the jar. There was an invisible line drawn around the mouth of the jar. In the place where the straight line passed through, the pink jar became a thick black. At the bottom of the jar, all of the pink had turned black.

Tang Mo was surprised. “The task is this difficult? It is hard to obtain food?”

Tang Mo didn’t have a chance to think as something black emerged from the jar and slammed into Tang Mo’s legs. The black colour of the jar slowly dissipated and turned pink again.

Tang Mo made a startled expression as he picked up the black unidentified object that seemed burnt. Then he looked at the jar on the coffee table.

Small lines of words slowly emerged on the jar.

[ The rotten hair of an underground human, bah!]

Tang Mo, “...”

The hair Tang Mo threw into the jar had been spat out as a dark, unidentified object with a terrible stench. Tang Mo pinched his nose as he examined it, cutting the object with a knife. Once the black object was cut open, Tang Mo looked down at it for a long tie before concluding with a blank expression, “A burnt sweet potato that is like poo?”

As if it heard his words, the pink jar flashed again.

Tang Mo didn’t need to put this thing in a hole to experiment. He already guessed that it was absolutely impossible to attract the golden hamster with this.

Tang Mo picked up the jar and touched the small words.

“The rotten hair of an underground human...it means that the hair is too old and can’t be counted as something from the underground kingdom. It can’t be transformed into food?”

If that was the case, this task was a bit more difficult.

Tang Mo walked up to the fireplace and looked at the human head hanging on the wall. He watched it for a moment before finally taking out a knife and carefully cutting off the hair. After doing all of this, he went back to the sofa and put the hair into the jar.

Five minutes later—

[A dying man’s hair, yuckkk!]

Tang Mo, “...”

Not even this?

Tang Mo didn’t try to cut out any other part of the skull to put into the jar. The requirements of the jar seemed very high. If Tang Mo really was Little Red Riding Hood, he would be an underground person and could easily use his belongings to transform into food.

But he wasn’t Little Red Riding Hood.

“Mario’s hat should be considered as something from the underground kingdom. The turkey egg obtained from the big mole and the earthworm’s tears both belong to monsters.”

These three things were the reward items that Tang Mo got from the black tower games. The only one that could be useful was Mario’s hat. But it was absolutely impossible for Tang Mo to put such an excellent quality prop into the jar in exchange for sweet potato.

He already thought of a solution.

Tang Mo took out the ruby from his pocket and raised it to his head, wearing Mario’s hat.

The stench wasn’t inferior to that of the blackened sweet potato and Tang Mo immediately held his breath. He gazed at the fireplace of Grandmother Wolf’s house. After three seconds, he shouted and suddenly slammed his head into the fireplace wall.

Bang!

Thump!

The first was the sound of a head hitting the wall and the second was the sound of false teeth falling to the ground.

“This wall is too hard!” Tang Mo rubbed his head and took off Mario’s hat.

He leaned over and picked up the dentures on the ground.

The dentures were old and yellow, with a bit of chocolate sticking to it. Tang Mo wondered if this would turn into the blackened sweet potato like before? He sweated as he threw the dentures into the pink jar.

A minute later, the pink jar radiated a colourful glow again. The colours disappeared and an invisible line was drawn from the mouth of the jar. The jar turned a faint yellow wherever the line was drawn. This wasn’t the same as before, making Tang Mo’s heart jump. Once the entire jar turned yellow, something yellow jumped out of the jar onto Tang Mo’s legs.

[Dirty dentures used by a shoemaker for 70 years.]

The line of words appeared on the jar and the yellow soon fading, turning back to pink.

The sweet potato on Tang Mo’s leg was thick and long, approximately the size of an adult’s arm. The sweet potato didn’t look any different than those on Earth, but the smell was a bit lighter. Tang Mo hadn’t eaten for a day but he didn’t feel any hunger after seeing this sweet potato.

He took the sweet potato, went to the kitchen to find a plate and put the sweet potato on it.

It was only three in the afternoon when he finished all of this. Tang Mo thought for a moment before putting on Mario’s hat again and slamming into the wall twice. A broken mirror fell out the first time and half an eaten chicken leg the second time.

Mario’s hat was an excellent quality prop. When wearing the hat and hitting a hard object, there was a chance to obtain a magical treasure. The highest drop probability was 10%.

Tang Mo had experimented after receiving this item.

While wearing Mario’s hat, he must use a lot of strength to hit a hard object (such as a wall). An object would drop and the things that fell out were strange and there was never a fixed number.

After being informed by the black tower that he had to participate in a tower attack game, Tang Mo didn’t waste a day. Every night, he would wear the hat and slam his head against the wall to see if a so-called treasure would drop.

The explanation for the hat didn’t say how many times it could be used every day. However, Tang Mo’s experimentation found that the hat would only safely drop three items a day. The force of three full impacts made Tang Mo feel dizzy and uncomfortable. If he hit his head a fourth time, he was sure that the hat would have a negative impact on his body. The more collisions there were, the greater the impact.

Thus, this hat could only be used three times a day and the drop rate was apalling.

Since getting the hat until now, Tang Mo had hit his head 34 times and now once had a useful item fallen out.

Sometimes it was a dirty rag, sometimes a small stone that looked unremarkable. Once, it had drop a delicate knife with seven coloured gemstones embedded. Tang Mo had blinked with surprise and hurriedly picked up the knife. He hadn’t tried the knife when lines of words emerged on the handle.

[ Prop: Snow White’s apple cutting knife]

[Owner: Tang Mo]

[Quality: Rubbish]

[Level: None]

[Attack: Poor]

[Function: Very beautiful]

[Restrictions: No restrictions.]

[Note: Snow White, “Do you want to eat peeled apples?”]

Tang Mo, “...” He didn’t want to peel apples!

Tang Mo hadn’t given up.

Snow White’s knife might have a small other role apart from cutting applies, even if it was rubbish quality. Then his fingers accidentally touched the blade. Tang Mo’s brain hadn’t even registered the pain of the knife scratching him before he saw that the knife suddenly broke into two halves.

...This knife couldn’t even endure the durability of a finger!

Mario’s hat had a lot of disadvantages.

Tang Mo held the sweet potato plate and went to the nine hamster holes.

It was silent in the Monster Valley. Wolf Grandmother lived in the deepest part of the mountain hillside. The other gorilla monsters and monkey monsters lived in the basin in the middle of the valley. They were far away from Grandmother Wolf’s house and there was almost no communication.

Tang Mo vaguely felt that the position of Grandmother Wolf in the Monster Valley was a bit unusual.

Grandmother Wolf’s garden was much larger than the other monsters.

Tang Mo had seen a vegetable plot at the door of every household when he entered the valley. The small vegetable fields were very ordinary, similar to those found in rural areas where people randomly planted things to fill their stomachs. But Grandmother Wolf’s vegetable plot occupied an entire hill.

Only Grandmother Wolf lived on the mountain and the back of it was used as a vegetable field.

Tang Mo walked 10 minutes down the hill and found nine holes in the vegetable field.

Looking down at it from the hut on the mountain, the nine holes appeared suddenly in the smooth mountain wall. This was inconsistent with the environment of the entire Monster Valley. Now that he was at the foot of the hill, Tang Mo stood in the middle of the vegetable field. There were nine hamster holes in front of him.

The nine holes with a diametre of three metres were lined up side by side in a straight line. They were embedded in the mountain wall from left to right. He looked into the hole and could see that it was a few metres deep. Then the cave was shrouded by a dim light and he couldn’t see clearly.

Rule 8: Before sowing, the hamsters are only active in the holes.

Grandmother Wolf would only sow the seeds after she returned home, so the hamsters couldn’t leave the holes right now. Tang Mo carefully approached the hamster holes. He placed the sweet potato outside a hole and walked from the first to ninth hole to observe the hamster caves.

There were traces of claws on the ground. There were four claws with five nails, each nail having a width of five centimetres. There were deep digging marks on the ground caused by the claws. The deepest trace was half a metre deep.

“The monster hamsters are at least two metres in size and their claws are very powerful.” Tang Mo looked at these traces and asked, “Are these traces caused by the black hamster or golden hamster?”

There were a few gold and black holes near each hole. There was a bit more black hair but it was impossible to tell who caused the marks.

“The length and shape of the hair are the same. If so, the size of the golden hamster and black hamster might be the same.” Tang Mo didn’t enter the hole. He stood as closely as possible and observed what was inside. “Assuming that both the golden hamster and black hamster can cause such traces, their attack power might not be inferior to the monkey monsters. They might be even stronger.”

Tang Mo pondered for a moment before grabbing the sweet potato dish and walking towards the nine hamster holes.

The probability of the golden hamster appearing on the first day was 40% and the black hamster was 60%.

Tang Mo wasn’t going to take any chances.

He didn’t know what the hamsters looked like and how strong their attacks were. He had seven days and he would be able to catch the golden hamster in the next six days. For safety, there was no need to start the task on the first day. If the black hamster was attracted then Tang Mo would be passive.

Knowing himself and the enemy was the key to winning the battle. The information he knew right now was too little.

Tang Mo casually found a hole and chose the fifth one. He stood by the hole, raised his wrist and looked at the time on his watch.

The second hand kept ticking.

Three minutes later, the minute hand pointed straight at ’12.’ Tang Mo moved quickly to put the sweet potato in the hole before turning to run. He ran to a big rock 10 meters away at a very fast speed. Then he stared at the sweet potato in the fifth hole.

Once six o’clock arrived, the Monster Valley was sunny one second and suddenly became dark the next second.

There was no sun in the Monster Valley and Tang Mo couldn’t find a light source during the day, but the Monster Valley was lit up. At six in the morning, the sun appeared on time and at six in the evening, the sun disappeared on time.

It was six in the evening right now. Night had fallen and shrouded the quiet valley. The moonlight was dim, the breeze blew and there were no signs of movement.

Tang Mo’s eyes were fixed on the big sweet potato and his body was tense, waiting for the monster to appear.

Rule 7 of the game: If the player and food don’t stand at the same hole, the probability of the golden hamster appearing is 0%.

So would it be the black hamster or nothing?

Three seconds later, there was a loud noise from the depths of the fifth hole. Tang Mo’s eyes widened and he straightened his upper body as he stared at the hole. The next moment, a dark figure swayed softly in the depths of the cave. Suddenly, a dark paw shot at the golden sweet potato.

The black monster’s claws grabbed the sweet potato, its nails slipping over the plate. The plate immediately shattered into powder. It held the sweet potato and started eating.

In the quiet of the night, the sound of chewing on the sweet potato was very harsh. Tang Mo held his breath as he carefully watched the unknown creature eat the sweet potato. Once it finished eating the sweet potato, it suddenly looked at the big rock where Tang Mo was hiding.

Tang Mo’s heart thumped but he didn’t run away. He stayed 10 metres away and stared at it from a distance.

The black hamster stood in the cave, its body blending with the night. The small green eyes peered at Tang Mo. The eyes were cold and the green colour hid a bloody light.

One human and one hamster stared at each other across the hole. Five seconds later, the black hamster kicked at the ground and ran back into the cave. It ran very fast. The heavy slamming sound before softer and softer, finally disappearing.

Tang Mo stood still at the big rock, waiting five minutes to make sure the black hamster wouldn’t come back. Then he walked cautiously to the fifth hole.

The sweet potato was eaten cleanly without any traces left behind.

The dish had been crushed by the black hamster, leaving behind a bit of white powder. The powder was mixed with the soil and couldn’t be clearly seen without carefully looking.

The probability of the golden hamster appearing was 0%, which meant it must be the black hamster. The black hamster was stronger then the two monkey monsters and might be even stronger than the big earthworm in the Kill Bill mission.

Tang Mo came to this conclusion and walked calmly into Grandmother Wolf’s cabin.

The next day at noon, Tang Mo once again put on Mario’s hat and slammed his head against the wall. All three items were still garbage. Tang Mo casually threw one into the pink jar and got a big sweet potato.

At five in the afternoon, he ate a biscuit to replenish his strength and took the sweet potato to the nine hamster holes.

The dark hamster holes were deep and Tang Mo hid behind a big rock. He took out the big match and sharpened the two knives before tying them to his thighs. Once it was 5:59, Tang Mo held the plate and stepped towards the fifth hole.

The probability of the hamster appearing at the nine holes was the same, no matter which one he chose.

Once it was six o’clock, Tang Mo bent and placed the sweet potato at the edge of the hole. Then he raised his feet and walked into the hole. His hands were seemingly inserted casually into his pockets, but he was actually firmly holding two small darts. He stared intently into the dark depths of the hole. His left foot was turned in the direction of the entrance, ready to flee.

After 10 seconds, Tang Mo heard the familiar sound of something smashing against the ground. It sounded like a giant animal coming from a long distance, the sound of its limbs striking the ground constantly reverberating in this narrow hole and shaking the walls.

Tang Mo stood straight and saw a dark shape appear 20 metres away.

The small green eyes and horrible body. It was too dark to see if the fur was black or gold.

Once it was five metres from the entrance, the moonlight finally shone on the fur and the black colour filled Tang Mo’s eyes. Tang Mo didn’t hesitate to turn and run, but a sharp whistling sound was heard behind him.

The black hamster didn’t look at the sweet potato on the ground as it excitedly aimed a paw at Tang Mo.

The response of the black hamster was too faster, much faster than Tang Mo. Tang Mo had only taken one step out of the hole before he was blocked by the paws. Tang Mo didn’t hesitate. He squatted to avoid the paws of the hamster, pulled his hands out of his pocket and aimed four small darts at the hamster’s eyes.

Tang Mo wasn’t specially trained in shooting darts. He had practiced after obtaining the small darts but now he was in a rush. Three missed and only one hit the hamster’s right eye.

The hamster turned sideways, giving Tang Mo a chance. Tang Mo pulled out the giant match and met the black hamster’s large claws.

The huge claws hit the match and Tang Mo was shocked. The black hamster didn’t seem to think that Tang Mo would be so powerful. It took a step back as its nails were interrupted by the wood of the match.

Scarlet blood flowed from the broken nails.

The black hamster roared angrily and stormed towards Tang Mo.

Tang Mo waved the big match while constantly evading.

The hamster was very clever. It used its huge body to block the front of the hole, blocking Tang Mo’s way out. The lighting in the tunnel was dim and Tang Mo was driven further into the hole. In this continued, he would go deeper into the hole and it would be impossible to escape.

Tang Mo gritted his teeth. Once the hamster swung its claw again, he didn’t dodge.

The claw split through the wind and Tang Mo clenched the match tightly. As the hamster’s claw fell, Tang Mo spotted a chance and hit a small crack between the hamster’s nails.

The hamster screamed with rage and anguish.

Tang Mo didn’t just intent to break the nails. He used the force of the match to jump over the hamster’s body. The hamster ignored its aching nails and hurried to catch Tang Mo.

Tang Mo ran at the fastest speed outside the hole while the hamster angrily tried to catch him.

Tear.

The sharp claws pierced Tang Mo’s clothes, drawing shallow blood.

Tang Mo jumped out of the hole, his whole body falling to the ground.

The black hamster roared with rage from the big hole and refused to leave for a long time, standing at the entrance and staring at Tang Mo. Tang Mo sat on the ground and gasped. He examined the injury and saw it wasn’t too serious. It was just a small cut. But his clothes were torn and his back was completely exposed.

After resting for a while, Tang Mo used the big match as a crutch and prepared to go back to the cabin.

He did not think his luck would be so bad. There was only a 20% chance to meet the black hamster, yet he met it instead of the golden hamster.

The black hamster was indeed very strong. Its defense wasn’t as high as the earthworm but its attack power was better. It also had a higher IQ and more means of attacking.

Behind him, the hamster growled from the fifth hole. Tang Mo gasped for breath while walking. “There is a one-fifth chance. The black tower wouldn’t deceive me. This means my luck today is really too bad...” He walked past the fourth hole. “For two days, the probability of encountering the black hamster is one-fifth. My luck tomorrow shouldn’t be so bad.”

Tang Mo walked past the third hole.

Suddenly, his footsteps stopped. He turned stiffly and looked at the third hole behind him.

Tang Mo stared at the ground of the third hole for a full minute. Then he put away the big match and bent down in front of the third hole.

In the dark valley, the night was deep and the black hamster’s angry roars were endless.

On the ground of the third hole, a bit of white powder was mixed in with the soil. The moonlight shone, reflecting the smooth colour of the ceramic plate.

The author has something to say:

Tang Tang: Black tower, you are too dirty!!!

Major Fu: # My wife’s clothes were torn. My wife’s back is full of beauty but I can’t see it. I have to keep smiling #

Chapter end