Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

The investigative work quickly ran into some difficulties. Judge Thor was deep in thought with the load of information before him. He couldn’t stop thinking about the intel gathered earlier in the afternoon before he finally made the absolute sentencing.

“There’s only one truth! The murderer is... the most unlikely person of them all. Uh-huh, it’s me! Me, the investigator!”

The young Thor gently pushed up his thick-framed glasses. A glint seemingly appeared as his wise gaze pierced through endless misleading obstructions and pointed the truth right out!

“Wait! It looks like something’s not right.”

Even he thought the verdict was pretty ridiculous. He hurriedly pulled out workers manual from his chest pocket to find the regulations that should be observed at a time like this.

After his two partners’ eyes met, they simultaneously shook their heads helplessly. After they exchanged their opinions in their gazes, a dark elf anti-holy knight, Diana, immediately spoke up.

“Forget it. I’ll take on the investigative work. I thought that because you’re the judge that you’ll...”

She didn’t need to say more. It was already very rare for the dark elves to hold their somewhat mocking tongue, and to be able to see the green-faced goblins blush. It was practically unheard of for such an innocent goblin to actually exist.

On the other hand, even if I monitored it all through the wall using Harloys’s tricks, I still had the urge to cover my face and cry in devastation. They were... They were freaking mocking me! How did this clown ever get to take this case alone?! Was it the Japanese military police? Was it the political commissar? There was a traitor here!

“This is the person you chose to represent you? Your court and law school produced someone like you?”

As expected, the silly cat spread salt on my wounds. However, I could almost make out why he made such a ridiculous verdict. In some aspects, it really did have something to do with me.

Don’t misunderstand. I definitely wouldn’t write the stupid protocol saying “When you can’t find the culprit, the investigator is the culprit” in the worker’s manual.

“...He should be a student from the crash course. The case handbook really did have a line which read, ‘To suspect everyone is the best proposal to avoid the logical dead ends’. However, he seemed to have a warped understanding; otherwise, he was swayed by the seniors, or...”

Slap

A flustered Thor accidentally dropped another notebook on the floor, causing the bookmark to also fall out. It was just that... the title of the book left people feeling a little helpless—”The Eternally Famous Detective” by Roland.

“...Or it’s because you’ve been poisoned by that damn detective story! Quit messing around! I know that I created this disaster and I know that those guys will obviously change the story to “Roland’s book collection” out of boredom. This is an entertaining detective novel. It’s for entertainment, so professionals shouldn’t take it seriously! And yet, you actually put a bookmark in it, wrote notes, and used it like a reference book? Forever righteous Wumianzhe! Take this fool back to the furnace and remake him! I can’t stand him anymore!”

On the sidelines, the four elemental swordcaster, Mary, couldn’t watch anymore. She picked up the book a little helplessly.

She and the anti-holy knight, Diana, were old partners. For this case, they were investigating the cover of the “death council”. Considering that they might need the help of a professional in law, they applied for assistance from the high ranks. In the end, they sent a knucklehead like this.

“Isn’t this a fictional story?”

“But didn’t the seniors say that they could find inspiration from fictional stories when coming across over complicated cases? This here is but the master’s work! From it, I learned over three hundred kind of ways to commit murder!”

I wanted to walk into a wall. For real.

“In reality, have you come across strange and troublesome ways to kill people? Would normal people use such troublesome ways of killing people to resurrect? This really is nothing but an entertaining little story!”

[Pft! To actually be this trusted by juniors, how does that feel?]

“...So yet again, it was your fault.”

Feel? At that moment, I felt like Harloys and Astrya should have been thrown in hell. It was so hard for me to withstand double the comments.

Diana and Mary exchanged looks and had a complete conversation in silence.

“Alright. Since the new person is unreliable, let’s not expect anything from them and do it ourselves.”

The two of them quickly organized the related files and started to recall the case and discuss related witnesses. Thor, the goblin, knew that he screwed up big time just now, so all he could do was stand aside and watch.

There were a total of seven sacrifices in the nearby three towns. Many victims’ entire families were sacrificed, so there was a total of twenty-seven victims. For half a year now, there were twelve strangers who had no guarantor or family. Their tracks were questionable, and obviously suspicious...”

The two female knights and swordswomen seemed to be about twenty years old. I must have never met them before, so they most probably had only worked two or three years and were semi-new at this. But at least, they were still able to organize files and data.

But...

“The owner of the bakery in the nearby town is suspicious. Three months ago, his wife passed away, but he didn’t say anything or show the slightest bit of sadness. When we went to investigate, he just kept on staring at us.”

“Uh huh, I think so to. When we suddenly turned our heads as we left, he was still staring at us. As soon as you saw that wily gaze, you could tell he wasn’t a good person. Who’s to say it isn’t his guilty conscience. Let’s put him on the list of suspects.”

The sound of their lively discussion made even Harloys ask me with a little hesitation, “Is the bakery owner really a disciple of the dark practices?”

“No. As for why he wasn’t sad about his wife, well... you’ve never met his wife. She looked like a magnified goblin. Every time Old Wanke got drunk, he would cry about how his wife forced him to marry her back in the day and how he would endure his wife beating him back at home... I always thought that it was already really decent for him not to start a parade in celebration of his wife’s death.”

“Why did he stare at her? Was it not because of his guilty conscience?”

“With a wife like that, it’s normal for him to turn into a pervert who peeped at beautiful women. What’s more, who told them to dress like that and not be self-aware. Did you not notice those young guys peeping at them? If one notes down suspects into the handbook under those pretenses, then I’m afraid it’ll be immediately filled up.”

Mary’s chest had the soldier’s crest of the absolute gentlemen’s alliance, and she wore the women’s outfit for the four elemental swordcasters. Four elemental swordcasters was a magical sword occupation where soldiers could not wear armor for flexibility, wearing rather few clothes. However, the higher-ups at the gentlemen alliance were a bunch of... Mhm. Everyone knows.

Their top was silver enchanted chainmail armor and their inner clothing were tight and limited in area, which especially accentuated certain areas. The entire body was covered by a long red and blue trench coat. What couldn’t be seen was more attractive than what could. They said it was a soldier’s armor, but one might as well call it an evening ball gown.

It looked completely modern and fashionable, sexy but not in poor taste, and it completely exceeded modern beauty standard. She was a rare piece of art.

As for the anti-holy knights, they were even more over the top. Their elegant and beautiful silver armor covered most critical parts of their body, and yet they revealed some insignificant areas. For example, the area where the thigh and body met, the arm which exposed two fingers and the elbow, the collar which exposed the nape, and the front which exposed the abdomen below the chest. The entire armor and traditional bucket-like composition were two different things. However, the outer shape of the armor made them look like an elegant silver mechanical lady. Their body shape was elegant and exquisite to no end with those revealing areas. On top of it all, the dark elves were naturally charming, yet with a kind of fallen beauty.

“Tsk, tsk. As expected of dark elves; they dare to wear anything. Does this have nothing to do with you?”

The silly cat always seemed to be sensitive over random matters.

“...How could I have known that they would really pull it off! This one outfit can make two full-armored outfits. Geez...”

“A waste?”

“Well done! Buddy!”

I tried hard to give a thumbs up. It seemed as though Adam’s bright smile appeared in the skies.

Why Adam? Because I only showed Adam those designs. He was definitely mixed up with that group of guys from the Gentlemen Alliance. He was probably the only one who could decide on armor like this for a stern Diana.

Why was it an illusion in the sky? I didn’t think Margaret would spare his life after doing something like this.

With that said, I suddenly looked forward to the female judge, law incantationer, and the knight of justice uniforms... but come to think of it, Lilith was now in charge. Sadness suddenly made me a little disappointed.

“Wait, Lilith’s a lesbian! But who’s to say, it might just be a good thing!”

...Cough. Getting back to the main point. From the intel, it looked like the mithril and rare alloy weren’t there just because they were good to the eye. They definitely wouldn’t lack in function, and in this very moment, the two girls were still fighting over the “suspect” on their lips. Yet, Harloys seemed to be rather interested in starting to make guesses.

“They said it’s the town’s middle-aged security guard? The one who stares at them full of hatred?”

“No. That’s just an old pervert. That guy’s cross-eyed and stares at anyone he sees.”

“Are the aunties who wash clothes by the river also secretly spies?”

“No. Other people only want to ask them where they buy their clothes, but they’re too shy to approach them. After all, in their eyes, these newbies are all big guys.”

“And that apprentice at the tailor’s shop?”

“Justifiable, she still wanted to make some money.”

“How are you so clear on this?”

“Hmph! They paid me to help ask. I sold intel seven to eight times. Today, I’ve got some wine money.”

“You sure have some free time... The groundsman for Fengyu’s cemetery? He’s always out on the streets during the creepy evenings.”

“They’re hunchback, and they work nights. What’s wrong with taking a stroll on the streets at night?”

Suspects were pointed out one after the other. They already had over thirty names on their list, and I’d already denied them all. Finally, silly cat lost all patience.

“Who the hell is it?”

“Ha... I...”

“You?”

“I don’t know! Don’t bite! Alright, I’ll explain. I’ve been leading the way for the past two days. They naturally can’t find him.”

“You deliberately avoid the real culprit? Why?”

“Did you think that I had that much free time? The easiest way to find an undead mage is to use another undead mage. Members of the Death Council must have cultivated undead techniques. Since they have deathly magical powers, even if I’ve now become weak, as long as I face them head on, I’ll definitely be able to feel them. If I could see them, then I’d definitely slash them in one go. Since they let me lead them, they naturally won’t be able to find them.”

Silly cat suddenly fell silent. After a long while, she blurted out a sentence. “Why do I feel like meeting you means that they’re destined to fail? Are you sure that their little bit of money doesn’t make you feel good and you plan to get a few more days worth of money for wine? Are you sure there aren’t other ways to lure the guy out? Roland, why are you sweating? Is it your guilty conscience?”

“It’s hot!”

“It’s autumn!”